I hate all girls vehemently.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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