Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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