I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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