I hope mine doesn't look like that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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