I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
