just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
