i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
