I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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