SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
