She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
