Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
now i know why i became what i already was.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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