he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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