im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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