i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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