Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
