He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
