I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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