so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
