homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
