I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
