ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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