I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
