He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
