My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
