I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
