Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
