Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
