hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
