some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
