wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
