Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
