If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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