I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
