I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
