Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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