it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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