You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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