im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
