i think my tv is drunk
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
