is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
