If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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