At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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