thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
