I just pynch a tree in the face
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
