I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
