So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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