THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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