Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
