Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
