Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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