Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
