I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
