dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
